I need to drain my brain before I can
write this paper. I need to let go of everything that’s spinning me in
these concentric spirals, now that’s fun mental image now ain’t it?
I hate not being able to handle things, or i hate reaching a point
where no matter how good something may be it’s just too much, because i
can handle alot, but if it’s focused to a point it’ll cut right through.
So lets start this off wrong, naturally that’s how I tend to do things,
eh? No, no i’ll take that back and just be vague. My relationships
compeltely changed, i went through and I looked at who was important to
me and who wasn’t. And who i had a reciprocal frienship with, who i
could talk to and who i couldn’t, and I took my buddy list and
organized it so that the really important people were in one list and
my other good firends were on another list. Think three lists totaling
159 people (that i talk to) that i took down to those two lists with a
combined total 38 as of now. Now that’s one hell of a jump now isn’t
it? Like i said I completely reviewed that whole process of things.
Then you may, and probably should know that I was the president of the
ACM (Association for computing machinery) and now elections were coming
up and I didn’t think that I had anyone running against me, and
naturally I don’t check the website becuase a. I’m president, I
innately know what’s going on and B. i’m not the webperson so I don’t
handle it. Well little did I know that I had Kate running against me
and Andrew was running as VP. So kate ran as pres and had a speech and
did quite well and I had nothing and so yes, I’ve lost my club. my
baby, my pride and fucking joy. Oh well shit happens right? Fucking ay,
oh well now i’m “Secretary/Treasurer” there’s my kind of thing… yeah
right.
Now lets cap off this with the final really big change in my life. I’m
leaving my current job as Technician and Applying for and definately
getting a job as a SAL tech. This sucks in a way because I love my job,
i love the people, i have the coolest bosses anyone could ask for. I’ve
got near complete flexibiity with hours and just a great working
environment in general, but I don’t want to do tech support and
hardware/software troubleshooting for the rest of my life. I want to
write code, I want to write programs that make peoples lives easier, i
want to write code that manages thousands of people or systems and does
so flawlessly. So for as much as i’m going to hate leaving, i have to,
it’s just that time for me to move on. Haha, and on the shallow side
the $10 and hour is certainly going to help my monetary sitiuation even
more.
Hopefully i’ll manage to swing saving up that 15K by the time i’m out
of college, however If i manage 10K by the end of the summer, i’m
dropping 1.2k on a ticket to New Zeland, and then taking another 1K as
spending money and hotel money and whatnot. I figure i’ll take the
opportunity to look at jobs, areas to live, and all sorts of things,
lol and get some Kiwi pictures. But I want out of this Dead end United
States.
We’re going down the tubes so fast it scares the shit out of me, i’ve
been tempted to up and leave now, but the tech industry in where I was
looking (austrailia) was saturated to a frightening degree. It bothers
me that upping and leaving didn’t really bother me all too much. Now
however, There are certain people here who give me a great reason to
stay, haha or bring them with me, but I don’t think they could, i don’t
think they’re the up and leave type. Oh well, looks like when i move
i’ll be going it alone… am I suprised? Not one tiny bit.
I hate how I don’t really feel much better after all that. Oh well
maybe it’ll be enough. And now I leave you with some lyrics. Now Please
DO NOT READ INTO THESE LYRICS.
Girl, you look like you might be an angel
So I won’t lie
I could love you like the devil
if you wanted me to tonight
And we could talk about forever for a day or two
But I still got a lot of leavin’ left to do
Don’t bite off more than you can chew,
There’s things down here the devil himself wouldn’t do,
Just remember when you let it all go,
What happens in Mexico,
Stays in Mexico
But You’d really love to know
You’d really love to climb
Your way into my heart
And see what you could find
Youd’d walk into my skin
Swim through my veins
See it from my eyes
But it’s dangerous to try
